Letter 42. A journey in England.
9th September 2005
Dear friends,
I am in the middle of England, at the train station in Derby, having decided to write the letter in English this time, for so to translate it into Norwegian. I might not use the right Norwegian expressions always, or the English, as I am on an exciting journey meeting words and phrases I do not know that well.
I will be around in the world coming back to Norway for Christmas, so the last two weeks at home was a preparation for being away for 3 ½ months. As my brother Einar, my sister Karoline and I decided to sell the house from my father, the summer has mainly been busy preparing the house for sale. It might be sold these days, and so my last contribution was cleaning. I actually found it a good way of saying goodbye to the house, cleaning every piece of wood my father had made the walls from. The last weekend was spent painting at Blestølen, the campsite of Buskerud, my region of the YWCA/YMCA, also a way of honouring my father, as he was the responsible for those working weekends. I am sure he would have been satisfied with the good work done.
I arrived London Monday morning, ready for seeing as much as possible one day in the city. My first aim was the Norwegian Embassy. I didn’t miss Norway that much the first day, but I was really quite embarrassed that I had not managed to find the time to give my vote for the Parliament election before I left Norway. Four years of bad conscience is a long penalty for not having made my contribution for a good governing of my home country. Luckily it was easy to give my vote, and without worries I could see more of the city. I was surprised how much I could cover on foot by one afternoon and how easy it was to find my way. My conclusion is: London is a nice city!
Tuesday I left London for Derby, and it was not to go to see soccer. I have spent three days in a convent, Community of the Holy Name (CHN), just outside Derby. I stayed in the guest cottage with four elderly women, and we were not there for the same reason. Most convent guests are there to have some days in silence. Well, I can’t say that I was not. But for me there was more.
I had my first stay in a convent in April, two days in Abu Gosh outside Jerusalem. I was quite excited about it then, and wondered about writing about it in a letter. But I was not ready to share it with everybody, only with a few. During the summer I have talked with more, and when stopping to stay that I didn’t want it to spread, it spread, and now I felt ready to give some glimpses of what is going on, which is more than “a normal retreat in a convent”.
I never had the idea of becoming a nun, until half a year ago. I actually had a discussion with a Roman Catholic student of theology Easter Monday, on my Emmaus walk, and I meant that we had no need for nuns in the Lutheran church when he asked if it was not strange that we had almost no such vocations. I did not at all think about myself as a possible candidate. A few days later suddenly I was. I wished to talk with my priest in St. George’s about my vocation, to be more aware on my own way to becoming a pastor. I didn’t have a clue that he already had a different vocation in mind. “Have you ever thought about the monastic life?” “??”
No, I had not. But my thoughts started running, not away from it, as many experience when they get such ideas, but towards it. I knew almost nothing about the monastic life, as a more or less average Norwegian Lutheran student of theology. I enjoyed the view of the Sisters all around in Jerusalem. I was attracted by the liturgy and offices in the church. I wanted to give my life to serve those in need. But I had never thought of the possibility of being called to be a Sister. God might have tried before. I am probably caught in my tradition, not very open to other ways, if they are not very clear. The words of my priest were very clear, though he by no means tried to say that this was my vocation. He only wanted me to know that some are called to the monastic life. I might be.
As I had no clear idea about the monastic life, I started to explore it by visiting the Catholic Benedictines in Abu Gosh. I also talked with some other Protestant and Catholic Sisters. But as I felt so much at home in the Anglican Church, and I think a conversion to the Catholic Church might not be right for me, I decided to explore more visiting some Anglican communities in England. As I was also asked to lead a group of Norwegian youth to Bangladesh in October, I found out that it was right for me to take another half year off from my studies, for the purpose of exploring and volunteering.
Though I have decided to explore this, I am not at all sure if this is my future. My thoughts vary a lot, between “for sure not for me” and all the steps to “this is for me”. The defence mode was on when I arrived CHN, but it couldn’t last very long when I was met by a sweet, small Sister greeting me in Norwegian. She had been to Norway ten times and the others could tell that she had been so excited about welcoming me. Their welcome was really great. I think it reflects their community, that they can give me so much warm attention. In addition to participating in the five daily offices and the Eucharist in the chapel, I had my meals with the Sisters in the refectory. I borrowed a book about ten nuns and Sisters in different communities in England.
The Guest Sister also organised for me to talk with a couple of other Sisters, one who will take her life vows in a few weeks, the other who is the Novice Guardian. They have no novices at the time, quite different from when she herself was one among 20 novices. She could tell that not many of them stayed, and she complained once that all the good ones were leaving… She said that as Abraham was tested if he was willing to sacrifice his son Isaac, women of today might be tested if they are willing to give their lives to God. When they are, God might have other vocations ready for them as they are so faithful. She herself didn’t get another vocation though. Anyway, I was encouraged to continuing exploring having the understanding that God wants me to explore. I don’t know what I am called to in a life perspective. But I believe this is part of it. Today I am called to go southwest, to the Community of St. Francis in Somerset, to have a week experiencing their life.
I suppose many of you do not have much knowledge about religious communities, as was my situation. Next letter might give some more general information. If you want to know more about CHN, you find them at http://www.chnderby.org/ You are also most welcome to help me discern my vocation by questions, comments and prayer!
Religious greetings from Hanne.
Dear friends,
I am in the middle of England, at the train station in Derby, having decided to write the letter in English this time, for so to translate it into Norwegian. I might not use the right Norwegian expressions always, or the English, as I am on an exciting journey meeting words and phrases I do not know that well.
I will be around in the world coming back to Norway for Christmas, so the last two weeks at home was a preparation for being away for 3 ½ months. As my brother Einar, my sister Karoline and I decided to sell the house from my father, the summer has mainly been busy preparing the house for sale. It might be sold these days, and so my last contribution was cleaning. I actually found it a good way of saying goodbye to the house, cleaning every piece of wood my father had made the walls from. The last weekend was spent painting at Blestølen, the campsite of Buskerud, my region of the YWCA/YMCA, also a way of honouring my father, as he was the responsible for those working weekends. I am sure he would have been satisfied with the good work done.
I arrived London Monday morning, ready for seeing as much as possible one day in the city. My first aim was the Norwegian Embassy. I didn’t miss Norway that much the first day, but I was really quite embarrassed that I had not managed to find the time to give my vote for the Parliament election before I left Norway. Four years of bad conscience is a long penalty for not having made my contribution for a good governing of my home country. Luckily it was easy to give my vote, and without worries I could see more of the city. I was surprised how much I could cover on foot by one afternoon and how easy it was to find my way. My conclusion is: London is a nice city!
Tuesday I left London for Derby, and it was not to go to see soccer. I have spent three days in a convent, Community of the Holy Name (CHN), just outside Derby. I stayed in the guest cottage with four elderly women, and we were not there for the same reason. Most convent guests are there to have some days in silence. Well, I can’t say that I was not. But for me there was more.
I had my first stay in a convent in April, two days in Abu Gosh outside Jerusalem. I was quite excited about it then, and wondered about writing about it in a letter. But I was not ready to share it with everybody, only with a few. During the summer I have talked with more, and when stopping to stay that I didn’t want it to spread, it spread, and now I felt ready to give some glimpses of what is going on, which is more than “a normal retreat in a convent”.
I never had the idea of becoming a nun, until half a year ago. I actually had a discussion with a Roman Catholic student of theology Easter Monday, on my Emmaus walk, and I meant that we had no need for nuns in the Lutheran church when he asked if it was not strange that we had almost no such vocations. I did not at all think about myself as a possible candidate. A few days later suddenly I was. I wished to talk with my priest in St. George’s about my vocation, to be more aware on my own way to becoming a pastor. I didn’t have a clue that he already had a different vocation in mind. “Have you ever thought about the monastic life?” “??”
No, I had not. But my thoughts started running, not away from it, as many experience when they get such ideas, but towards it. I knew almost nothing about the monastic life, as a more or less average Norwegian Lutheran student of theology. I enjoyed the view of the Sisters all around in Jerusalem. I was attracted by the liturgy and offices in the church. I wanted to give my life to serve those in need. But I had never thought of the possibility of being called to be a Sister. God might have tried before. I am probably caught in my tradition, not very open to other ways, if they are not very clear. The words of my priest were very clear, though he by no means tried to say that this was my vocation. He only wanted me to know that some are called to the monastic life. I might be.
As I had no clear idea about the monastic life, I started to explore it by visiting the Catholic Benedictines in Abu Gosh. I also talked with some other Protestant and Catholic Sisters. But as I felt so much at home in the Anglican Church, and I think a conversion to the Catholic Church might not be right for me, I decided to explore more visiting some Anglican communities in England. As I was also asked to lead a group of Norwegian youth to Bangladesh in October, I found out that it was right for me to take another half year off from my studies, for the purpose of exploring and volunteering.
Though I have decided to explore this, I am not at all sure if this is my future. My thoughts vary a lot, between “for sure not for me” and all the steps to “this is for me”. The defence mode was on when I arrived CHN, but it couldn’t last very long when I was met by a sweet, small Sister greeting me in Norwegian. She had been to Norway ten times and the others could tell that she had been so excited about welcoming me. Their welcome was really great. I think it reflects their community, that they can give me so much warm attention. In addition to participating in the five daily offices and the Eucharist in the chapel, I had my meals with the Sisters in the refectory. I borrowed a book about ten nuns and Sisters in different communities in England.
The Guest Sister also organised for me to talk with a couple of other Sisters, one who will take her life vows in a few weeks, the other who is the Novice Guardian. They have no novices at the time, quite different from when she herself was one among 20 novices. She could tell that not many of them stayed, and she complained once that all the good ones were leaving… She said that as Abraham was tested if he was willing to sacrifice his son Isaac, women of today might be tested if they are willing to give their lives to God. When they are, God might have other vocations ready for them as they are so faithful. She herself didn’t get another vocation though. Anyway, I was encouraged to continuing exploring having the understanding that God wants me to explore. I don’t know what I am called to in a life perspective. But I believe this is part of it. Today I am called to go southwest, to the Community of St. Francis in Somerset, to have a week experiencing their life.
I suppose many of you do not have much knowledge about religious communities, as was my situation. Next letter might give some more general information. If you want to know more about CHN, you find them at http://www.chnderby.org/ You are also most welcome to help me discern my vocation by questions, comments and prayer!
Religious greetings from Hanne.
posted by Hanne at 10:55 AM
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